In college, I had a good friend who always wanted to go to the bar. In some ways, this was fine with me. This was before the days of me having huge student loan bills, so I had the extra money. We’d have lots of drinks, play lots of pool, then maybe get a pizza afterward on the way home.
I’ve seen people lament about how terrible bars are, but really, it depends on the bar and the people you’re with. My friend was there to hang out and play pool, so it was a pretty good time for me. Hell, it made me feel normal. Drinking is something I can take or leave, but I enjoy it sometimes, especially girly fruity drinks with juice, or vodka with energy drinks.
But what about all the people who go to bars to “hook up?” The bar we went to, like many bars, differed a lot depending on the day and time of day. I sometimes went in at noon for a sandwich, and it would be quiet and empty, maybe a few older guys watching the sports channel (and yes, I feel completely comfortable going to a bar alone). At night, it would be younger people, louder music, and pretty busy. That’s when I went with my friend, usually. Lots of people on the dancefloor wearing skimpy clothes and grinding on each other. That doesn’t bother me, as long as no one is grinding on me. And as long as I mostly stayed in a booth, at the bar, or at the pool table, people usually didn’t. Sure, occasional guys would come over and flirt with us, but it wasn’t horrifying to me. Sometimes people would come over and play pool with us, and converse quite normally.
I don’t understand the bar-phobia some people have. I think it’s a matter of some people having bad experiences at bars or being uncomfortable at seeing anybody “hooking up,” flirting, getting phone numbers, and dancing. I never felt very threatened by it. Of course, we were dorks. She was a bio major; I was a languages/anthro major. We played the stupid video games on the counter for hours sometimes, and we weren’t dressing provocatively.
I guess my point is that not all bars have to be bad places for asexuals, even if a lot of people think of them as scary, oversexed places. And some are more for that, some places are almost all young, drunk, underclothed kids looking for one night stands, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I just feel like having that view of all places could make people miss out on some good places to hang with friends, to eat hot wings and play pool.