Bullying and asexuality

It occurs to me that a lot of the self esteem issues I had as a kid/teen were related to sexuality. As a teen, my friends were a bit nutty and hormonal, and they’d get mad for stupid reasons and say hurtful things. Others were hurtful because they didn’t say anything. I remember one “friend” got mad at me and tried to insult me by saying I “couldn’t get a boyfriend.” It didn’t occur to her that I didn’t want one. Other times, someone would insult my appearance and my “friends” just would not stand up for me. Like once I was in a Halloween costume. Someone said, “Is that a girl?” and this was followed by, “Oh, it’s an ugly girl.” I was dressed as a the grim reaper, by the way, with a skull painted on my face. I didn’t understand the competitiveness, comparing one “friend” to the next, deciding who was prettier. Who cares? Guys would say I shouldn’t wear certain clothes because I was not “hot.”

One of the reasons it bothered me was not because it was intended to undermine my sense of attractiveness, but rather, because I had no idea why any of this should even matter. When I was 14 my friends were horrified that I was still a virgin, and determined to “help me get laid.” I didn’t know any better, I thought they might be right. They pitied me for being single or not “getting any,” and I sort of pitied them for always needing to be in a relationship and for spending so much time worrying over whether or not they were “getting any.”

And it still goes on, in a way. I’ve decided that I don’t care what people think, I am happy how I am. This has caused me to stop talking to many people who are unable or unwilling to accept me how I am. It’s still frustrating on some level, though. Why are people so concerned with other people’s sex lives and relationships?

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